Banter
by LifeEqualsMusic
Summary: Set just after Kasumi's loyalty mission in ME2. A few spoilers for ME2, but nothing too major. Getting Keiji's graybox must have affected Shepard more than she thought. It's a good thing Garrus is so understanding. f!ShepXGarrus


**Okay, yes. My pacing leaves a lot to be desired, and they may be out of character, but I can't keep playing ME2 until this is out of my head.**

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The doors to the main battery slid open silently, and Shepard stepped inside. She took a moment to study the loyal turian's back before changing her mind about the whole thing.

'Shepard,' Garrus said softly, without turning around, 'what can I do for you?' Shepard balked.

'How could you have possibly known that was me?' She asked, somewhat suspicious,and he chuckled.

'You're not as quiet as you think, Shepard. I could hear you from the elevator.' His mandibles moved into what could be called a turian smile. 'Superior alien hearing, and all.' He knew Shepard was frowning, now, obviously jealous of his senses.

'Okay, so you can hear better than me. So what? You can't tell who someone is based only on their footsteps.'

'Not usually, but you're sort of a special case. You favor your right leg now, after breaking it back at the battle for the Citadel. Not to mention your smell.'

'My smell.' Shepard deadpanned. 'Am I that disgusting after a mission?' Garrus chuckled again.

'Don't take it personally, Shepard. All humans- all aliens, for that matter- smell strongly to me. Most of you have an earthy base, but yours always has- I think they're called oranges, back on Earth? And then of course, I know you've just come back from a mission, because you smell like human sweat.' She was speechless.

'And- and all turians can distinguish us so easily?' Garrus braced himself for the onslaught of insubordination accusations sure to be hurled at him for his next statement.

'Ah, no, not exactly. I can't tell Miranda or Jacob or Joker apart like I can with you. Like I said, you're a bit of a special case.' He busied himself with the controls still in front of him, having not looked at her once, but he knew her hand was on her hip, her left eyebrow with the scar slashed through it raised.

'So how long have you been paying such close attention to me, Vakarian?' The question wasn't accusatory, but teasing, letting him know that he wouldn't be scrubbing dishes with the mess sergeant. Tonight, at least. Garrus relaxed his hunched shoulders and allowed himself to play along with her banter.

'At least as long as you've been watching me, Shepard,' he said as he straightened his aching back. He heard her swallow, and laughed.

'Yeah, laugh it up, you great big turian. At least when I do it, I'm subtle.' Garrus choked.

'Subtle, sure. "Garrus, do you have a minute to talk? Garrus, what do you think of this rifle? Hey Garrus, want to come up to my quarters and _feed my fish?"_' Shepard came up beside him and smacked his shoulder.

'I never said that last one, pervert.' He smiled his turian smile again.

'Maybe not, but you've been thinking... uh...' He trailed off, finally looking at his commanding officer. 'Shepard, what...?' She stepped back, suddenly self conscious.

'Oh, I- I just got back from Bekenstein with Kasumi.'

'Bekenstein? I don't see what- that doesn't explain-' Shepard sighed.

'She made me go to some arms dealer's party. He's stolen something she needed back.'

'And... You're dressed like that because...?' Shepard rolled her eyes.

'You know, for someone so good at reading people, you can be quite dense sometimes.' She laughed as he tapped the top of her head with his gloved hand. 'Think about it, Garrus. I couldn't go waltzing in there with-'

'Waltzing?' His mandibles flexed in confusion.

'It's an old Earth dance. Focus, Vakarian. I couldn't go in there with all my-'

'Are you telling me you danced into this party?' That did it. Shepard dissolved into laughter, leaning on her friend for support. The heel of her dysfunctional shoe snapped off, and she stumbled into his chest plate.

'Spirits, Shepard, are you all right?' he asked worriedly as he caught her, his concerned expression apparent, even behind his half-visor.

'Oh, Garrus, you're one-of-a-kind, you know that?' She tried to stifle her laughter, somewhat unsuccessfully. 'That's just an expression, you lout.' She dissolved into giggles again, though now she was hyper-aware of his warm arm around her torso, still holding her up.

'Well, how was _I_ supposed to know that? Nobody tells me these things. Anyway, I suppose you couldn't go in there with all your armor and weaponry, could you?' Shepard managed to sober, and nodded.

'Exactly. Though, I don't think she needed to put me in something quite so... _revealing._'

'Shepard.' Garrus' deep sub-tones rumbled through his chest, suddenly serious. Shepard's skin prickled at the resonance, thankful for the chilled temperature in the room. 'I know you didn't come in here to discuss your attire.' She sighed, suddenly feeling heavy.

'No, I didn't.' She glanced around, avoiding eye-contact with her friend. His blueish eyes softened and he led her to the box on the side of the small room, sitting her down on it, and crouching in front of her.

'Shepard, talk to me. What happened out there?' She shook her head.

'It was nothing, really. The mission went... As they usually go for us, but when we were on the shuttle back to the Normandy, I found out what Kasumi was after.' She swallowed thickly, the words catching in her throat. Garrus took her hands in his and squeezed them.

'It's okay, Shepard. Go on.' She took a deep breath and nodded.

'The arms dealer had stolen her old partner's graybox- his memories. When she watched them in the shuttle, I- they were lovers, Garrus, and he asked her to destroy it. And she did.' Shepard glanced up, looking straight into Garrus' eyes.

'So, why come find me, before anything else, then? You didn't change, even though you're obviously uncomfortable in those clothes.' She looked away, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

'I just- I wanted you to know... To know how much you mean to me.' Shock washed over the turian in a wave.

'And how much would that be, Shep?' he asked quietly.

'Garrus, you're not just my second-in-command anymore. You haven't been for a long time, now.' She withdrew one of her hands and rested it on the unmarred side of his face. 'You're my best friend, hell, you're probably the only friend I have left, after Kaidan... After he...' Garrus leaned into her touch.

'I know, Shep. We'll find him and get him back for you.' Shepard frowned.

'Garrus, it's not like that anymore between him and me. If he doesn't want to come with us, well, I'm okay with that.' She ran her thumb across his plated face. 'Whatever we had... That's gone now.' Her words poked at something in Garrus' chest, something that felt a bit like relief, and Shepard smiled.

'Were you that jealous, Vakarian?' she asked teasingly, tapping his mandible lightly when she saw confusion in his eyes.

'Of Alenko? Please. Who would be jealous of him, when I have,' he gestured to his physique, '_all_ of this?' She smirked.

'I hear a lot of women- even humans- find scars sexy,' she said as she ran her other hand down the still red scars on his face. She winked, and he laughed.

'Speaking from experience, Shepard?' He'd said it as a joke, but a thrill ran through him when her cheeks reddened.

'No, I- uh... Oh shut up, Garrus,' she blundered as he grinned, clearly enjoying himself.

'It's okay, Shep, nobody can resist this _voice_,' he rumbled, letting the sub-tones take over, and she shivered again.

'Okay, that's cheating, you damn turian.' Garrus winked and pulled her to her feet, his arm pulling her close against him, close enough to smell oranges.

'What is you humans say? "All's fair in love and war?"' he murmured in her ear, and then releasing her, he strode out of his small room, leaving Shepard swaying, her head light, and her face hot.

'Damn it.'

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**I'm probably gonna be writing a WHOLE bunch of oneshots like this. So drop a line! **


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